Title: School's Out
Characters: Xander, Cordelia
Warnings: R rating, spoiler for end of S3School's out for summer
School's out forever
School's been blown to pieces
"We're taking a moment," Oz said. "And, we're done."
As one, the Scooby Gang turned their backs on the smoldering ruins of Sunnydale High. For Xander it was the perfect way to end his high school career: power walking out of the smoke and flames with all his friends action-hero style. Sure beat his usual vision of how graduation was supposed to go. That usually involved him watching from the sidelines as the new janitorial staff hire while Willow did the valedictorian speech. Seriously, this was the coolest moment ever. They should have gotten the Dingoes to do a bad-ass guitar riff as background music.
No dusters, though.
The Avengers were already disassembling a block away. Oz and Willow veered away in the direction of her place. Xander resisted the urge play Mr. Tricycle. Will's expression told him that activities in the footsie-under-the-table--or hiding under the covers in a shirt and panties--category were about to happen. Huh. That probably explained why Will was nearly late for her own grad-- Bad thoughts. Very bad thoughts! Buffy headed for Revello Drive. Go with? In her "tree pretty" daze, Xander wasn't sure if butting in with the jokes was the best idea. Slayer speed had her a block away before he could ask her.
That left him alone.
Xander glanced to his left.
Alone with Cordelia. Definitely
not how he expected graduation to play out.
Cordelia looked good. Of course, Queen C had always made it a goal in life to look great while pointing out how bad you were in comparison. The blue knee-length dress and cardigan worked on her. A lot more modest than her usual Princess of The Mall outfits, but even on a budget she was runway ready. Quiet, though. Xander couldn't imagine Cor not running her mouth off. She walked along with arms crossed over her chest, staring straight ahead as if there wasn't anything else important around her.
Actually, the last bit was pure Cordelia.
"Hey, Xan?" she asked.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"Why are you still here?" Cordelia said. "Following me like a lost puppy isn't cute, though it's up to your usual standards of pathetic."
And, she was back.
"You're talking to Key Guy." Xander thumped his chest. "Burninator of campuses, leader of men. Show a little more respect."
"Fine. Whatever." Cordelia waved a hand in dismissal. "So tell me, oh captain my captain, ,why are you tagging along?"
"You're tagging along!" Xander dragged hands through his shaggy hair. "Besides, um, uh, accompanying you home in case we're attacked by vamps. The eclipse is still on."
"Don't want to head home, huh?"
"Hell, no." Xander shuddered. "I overhead Uncle Rory planning a post-grad tequila and whores expedition south of the border. I've seen unc's taste in women. Rather go for death by Godzilla snake."
"Well, find another hiding place." Cordelia quickened her pace. "Me? I'm taking a bath, packing my stuff, and heading for L.A. in the morning. Time to leave this loser town behind me."
The only sounds besides the sirens wailing by the school was their footsteps on the sidewalk.
"I think Harmony's dead," Cordelia said, hugging herself harder.
Somehow Xander's arm was around her shoulders.
Somehow she didn't rip it off his body.
Neither of them pulled away from each other as they walked through the dark.
Xander had never been to Cordelia's house. Invitation to the Chase home in the exclusive Kingman's Heights neighborhood had been controlled by the admantium-cored velvet rope. Even during the depths of the frenzy that had been their dating life, Xander had never been allowed past the front gates. She had always insisted he wait around the corner when meeting her for a night at the Bronze. Said instructions had also come with the tip that he should keep some change in his pocket for a call from the police station in case the cops arrested him for vagrancy and loitering. Cor could be a giver.
Whatever the interior of Casa Chase had been, Xander couldn't have imagined it anything like the five-and-half her mom had rented in town. It was nice--two bedrooms off a common room separated from the kitchen by a bar-counter partition. The furniture was much better than the Harris standard of "it came free off the street, and the whiskey stains won't show if you flip the cushions." Cordelia didn't seem at ease at all. She mostly stood around, fidgeting with her glass, as if contact with the couches and chairs might infect her with a contagious disease.
"Luck Hop Foo's is delivering," Xander said, phone to one ear. "Through rain, darkness, and apocalypse, they deliver the zesty goodness of deep-fried MSG. Any preferences?"
"Don't know," Cordelia replied. "There's some cheap red and white in the cabinet. I can't remember what goes with garbage."
"Jessica number one it is," he said, uncovering the mouthpiece. "Four spring rolls, spare ribs greasy as you can make them, and General Tao's. Skip the fortune cookies."
"No fortune cookies?" Cordelia's brow furrowed.
"Foo's fortunes are not pleasant after dinner reading." Xander grimaced. "It must be a hellmouth thing. They're less 'you will have a chance meeting with luck' and more being disemboweled by a herd of crazed ostriches."
"Like last year during--"
"Just lived through giant snake," Xander said quickly. "Let's not relive moments of terror past."
"I'll drink to that." Cordelia hoisted a bottle from behind the counter. She poured a generous amount into her drink. "Screwdriver, mom's choice of medication to deal with dad's problems. Right now I need to turn the screw. You want?"
"So many ways I can earn a slap for that." Xander shook his head. "Harris genes and alcohol don't mix. Actually, they do. Often in multi-colored ways on the pavement outside the Fish Tank."
"Charming." One sneaker-clad foot tapped impatiently. "God, it'll be great to escape this hole. By next year I'll be in a house off Laurel Canyon, minimum."
"Clearly the world is ready," Xander said, "for off-key renditions of 'The Greatest Love of All'."
"You'll see my name in lights." Cordelia's perfect white teeth flashed. "Probably from the alley where you're lying in your own urine."
"I'll be on the road," Xander shot back, "while you're hiding from the tap-dancing cockroaches on your blanket."
"Seen your car, Harris." Cordelia stalked over. "An AMC Gremlin with more rust than Buffalo doesn't spell epic road trip."
"It's a cool car!" Xander rose off the couch. "It's screams manliness."
"It screams something." Cordelia stood nose to nose with him, her trademark smirk in place. "In a high-pitched whine, begging for Chester to stop the bad touch."
"Don't you ever let up?" he yelled.
"Someone has to keep you in your place!" she screamed back.
Hazel eyes glared into dark.
"You as hot as I am?"
The shattering of her glass against the wall behind them mixed with the rip of Xander tearing open the front of her dress.
Cordelia returned the favor by yanking open his shirt. Buttons flew in all directions. She growled angrily as their lips did the Monster Mash. The deep scratches her manicured nails left down his back stung as they stumbled in a tight embrace in the vague direction of the bedroom. Bra, bra, goddammit--success! Score! Harris performs the tricky one-hand unclasp! The crowd goes wild! Along with Cordy. Xander hoisted her in the air, managing to balance with pants around his ankles, as her bra went flying into a corner of the bedroom. Hers, her mom's, didn't exactly matter right now. Xander closed his lips around one perked nipple while Cordelia clasped her cheerleading-toned legs around him with anaconda strength.
They bounced off the mattress and onto the floor. Xander kicked shoes and slacks under the bed. Somehow Cordy had slipped off lacy black satin panties with her legs locked around his waist. Xander gazed up at her naked body, looming over him in the shadows. Cordelia's expression promised either sex or murder. Down below, Private Lavelle stood to attention. She fisted his hair in one hand as another lip tango ensued. The other hand fumbled in the night-table drawer above them. Clenched fingers nearly set him off at the same time as sheathing Private Lavelle in latex. Snarling, Xander grabbed her hips. Cordelia's mouth opened in a shocked O. Hips churned. The back of Xander's head slammed against the floor boards--
A knock came at the door.
"Your mom?" he gasped out, fingertips leaving bruises on her hips.
"N-not back u-until tomorrow!" she replied, whites of her eyes showing.
"Luck Hop Foo, delivery." The words were muffled by the closed front door.
"Right." Xander paused. "Uh, maybe we should, uh, get that."
"What?" Cordelia gaped. "During this
"Seriously, their spare ribs are awesome--"
Cordelia slapped him hard on the side of his head before resuming the Ride of the Valkyries.
"Sorry for making you wait," Xander said.
"No problem, kid." The delivery man handed over the plastic bags. "Your family's one of our biggest customers. Figured you were good for it. I waited in the car downstairs, since I bet you'd need the energy."
"You heard us through the--" Xander handed over an extra twenty. "For your consideration, kind sir."
"You want me to make a Wal-Mart run," the delivery man said, eyeing Xander's bare chest, "for some clean shirts?"
"I'll manage." Xander glanced down at the red furrows on his pecs. "Although I might order up the suture special later."
Xander slid down the door after locking it. Hoo, mama. Pimp-slappings from the Sisterhood of Jhe did not come even close to the damage from a half-hour with Cordelia. He summoned up his fading soldier-guy memories for the combat crawl back to the bedroom. Joints screaming for mercy, he spread out the take-out goodness on top of her dresser. Egg rolls, spare ribs, and spicy chicken: the dinner of champions. Pity he hadn't ordered up any rhino-horn soup. Retract that thought. Private Lavelle had earned a long furlough after the deep penetration mission he had just survived.
Xander lay back on the bed with a paper plate in his lap. A spring roll crunched between his teeth. Beside him, the top sheet outlined the curves of a sleeping figure. Xander ran a free hand along the line of thigh and flank and shoulder. Such a roller coaster, complete with the terror and screaming when you took a ride. Cordelia's dark hair fanned out across the pillowcase. He had loved the way it could go from controlled to wild in a second. He had loved the way he could do that to her. Cordelia arched while he rubbed that exact spot between her shoulder blades. Dipping a pinkie in plum sauce, he traced a glaze over her full parted lips. Her dark eyes fluttered open as he snuck in a quick appetizer.
"Oh God," she said, sitting up clutching the sheets over her breasts. "You. Me. Us."
"See, this is experience talking." Xander gestured with another spring roll. "A wise man eats when he can before he's tossed out into the hall in his boxers."
"As if!" Cordelia huddled into a corner of the bed. "Like I want the neighbors to see that. I did enough walks of shame dating you."
"Now stop with the sexy talk." Xander proffered the plate. "Pour madmoiselle."
"You defile my body and offer me that?" Cordelia sniffed. "Jeeze. Those ribs must be full of fat and salt and...juice...so thick...so tasty..."
"Is this a metaphor for my penis?" Xander waggled his brows.
"Cheap, sordid, and digusting." Cordelia snatched a rib. She groaned biting into it. "So good."
"And in an hour you want more!" Xander swallowed at Cordelia's scowl. "Fine, I pushed my luck there. I'll sneak out later to protect your reputation."
"Stay." A weight settled on his shoulder. Warm flesh curled against him. "You're a two-timing snake, Xander. But you're a gentleman."
"I thought that was Dudley Do-Uptight's role," Xander said, maneuvering a chunk of General Tao's to her mouth.
"Wes? Big disappointment there." Cordelia gulped down the chicken from the hovering chopsticks. "Um. Good. He had great presentation, but he kissed like a sack of week old fish."
"Not like this." Xander lips lingered for a long time on hers.
"I missed that." Cordelia punched him lightly with her knuckles. "You know this is totally survival sex?"
"Guessed that. It's good." Slipping down the sheet, he circled a nipple with spare rib sauce. "Really good."
"Hey, you'll get me all--" Cordelia hissed as he had another appetizer. "Sticky. God. Cut it out."
"Sore, huh?" Xander rubbed his aching head. "Nothing says love like post-passion concussion."
"I did that to you?" Cordelia swatted him there. "Good. Because you're still a cheating jerk at heart. Now feed me, minion."
Xander served up another rib for madmoiselle's delectation.
Cordelia grinned that way
as she sucked the sauce from his fingertips.
Chinese take-out and naked women. Romance.